Plodding along........and measuring success

As I mentioned earlier, I have specific goal cards that I look at every day.  I also have a pretty box, that as I achieve my goals (or they have become part of my everyday routine), the goal card will be retired to.  At any given time I can see how far I have come and what has brought a smile to my face!

One goal that I have been working on is drinking more water.  There are times that it is not a challenge at all....I rather enjoy it; then there are the days that I would rather die than look at another glass of that clear, cool beverage.  In any case, that goal card is getting close to being retired...

Retiring the goal cards is one way I am measuring my success.  Another way is realizing changes in my thought process and behavior.  An example.....tonight I ate some crackers; actually quite a few crackers to the point that I am not feeling my best.  In the past, I would have just beaten myself up from the time I finished through the next 100 years!  It would have been a sign of failure and imperfection.  Today, I opened my journal and started writing....and writing.  I could not identify what was bothering me.  I tried writing more and still nothing was coming to mind.  I put my hand over my heart and forgave myself.....'I am sorry that I have not honored my body with food that is good and nourishing; I am sorry that I have mistreated my body; I forgive myself for this and love that I have an opportunity starting right now to honor my body with everything it needs to provide me a successful and active life'

By the time I finished this, it came to me....I had been cleaning out my purse and had a bunch of change that was weighing me down!  I pulled it out and put it in my change jar.  Then I thought, why not empty my bowl that I toss the change into from my coat pockets.  As I dug through there, I found the Navy ring my last boyfriend had given me.  It pulled up some memories that I thought were long exorcised.  I guess not, eh?  I have put the ring away (I can't throw it away.....but I can put it in a safe place that someday I will be able to look at it with fond memories) and did a little more journaling.  I forgive that man, who had so many issues of his own, because he could not be the man I needed him to be.  He could not give me what I needed because he could not take care of himself.  I am not meant to save him, and that is what he wanted from me....he wanted me to take care of all his problems and tell him what to do.  He needs to do that on his own.  I pray that he is well and that he can find his way.......he was a wonderful, caring person who gave many years of his life to serving our country (I think he had issues to work through) and gave one child to the service who was killed in action.  I pray his other 2 boys are safe and sound.

Another measure of success in weight loss is......let's say it together.....the number on the scale!  I am trying not to describe myself or label myself by a number.  There are so many other facets to me.  The number on the scale is a small fraction of what I am about.  Today, the scale did not say what I wanted it to.  In all reality, the previous 2 weeks I had lost 9 lbs (crazy ....I know but when you give up the junk lots of water weight or fluff comes off fast) so I believe that my body is resetting itself.  We are not meant to lose that fast ...it is not safe.

In the past I would have pouted and eaten myself into a sick stupor.  Today I had my meals planned and just plodded along.  What does it prove to punish your body when it does not respond as you want it to?  It really defeats the purpose.  I have to say it was the first time my WW leader disappointed me when she asked if I had been tracking.....chick, you try losing 10 lbs in 2 weeks and see how much your body wants to give up!!  It is a number........just a number.

I am continuing to plan good and healthy meals.  I will continue to move more than I have in the past.  I will acknowledge when my body likes something (making a note to do it again) and make a similar notation for things it does not like (don't do the same thing again expecting different results).  My body is the only one I have.  It is time to treat it like the princess I believe I am.....right?!

Time to fill my water glass......again.  See you all soon!!