Feeling success on Friday........

Here in the office we have 'Bagel Friday'. It started a few years ago when I would stop by Panera and get 2-3 dozen bagels for the office. Of course I was sharing but made sure to get my Asiago cheese bagel. **sigh** The scent of the bagel toasting in the toaster oven......the glistening of the butter melting. How I miss those mornings.



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I act like I have not had one in forever. Maybe it has been weeks.......I know it has been at least 2 weeks without the savory feeling of the cheese and butter swirling around teasing my taste buds.

I came back from San Antonio with the resolve to eliminate sugar and white flour from my diet. I wanted to see how my joints reacted to it and how my weight loss might respond to it. I think my joints are less achy. I have much less acid reflux. Between these subtle changes and the fact that I am counting calories instead of counting points the scale has really been on my side!

So, this morning I brought in hard boiled eggs, a slice of cheese and an apple. That was my delicious breakfast. I looked longingly at the golden hues of cheese melted on the bagel. I stopped for a moment. There was one already toasting in the oven.......I took one deep breath and that is what I savor today. There may come a day soon that I will be able to be satisfied with 1/2 of a bagel, but for now I revel in the feeling that I did not succumb to the White Flour devil along with his friend Count Calorie!!

Changes, challenges, and perfection

It has been some time since I have put thought to computer. Lots of things have been going on and some changes need to be made. I have been struggling with my lack of success at weight watchers. Not their fault and I am not so sure mine either BASED ON THEIR CALCULATIONS. In talking to someone it was suggested that I check out a dietician and an exercise physiologist at a local spot. They specialize in helping people with medical weight loss. No pills, no cutting........just lets look at the calories in vs calories out. Seems reasonable to me.

So off I went to a 3 hour (OMG!) appointment and learned the following. FOR ME (a basic disclaimer) it seemed like I was getting too much food intake in calories. When you look at the current WW plan fruits and vegetables are free. Now what in life is really free??!! I was loading up on those bad boys. My overall cooking and food choices were not bad......poor portion control seemed to be my problem. Whooda thunk that a bag of broccoli would be my downfall!

From there I spoke to an exercise physiologist, Joey. He is adorable...not the 'ooh I am hot for him' but more the 'he is going to work my tush off (literally!) but he is also Italian.......what is not to like?! I have my first assessment with him this coming weekend. I better be ready to rock!! I am looking forward to see what he has to say. I have a regular exercise routine but there is always room for improvement.

Lastly I spoke to the doctor. He was impressed that I did not have a weight goal in mind. I don't know what feels good. Does that make sense? This journey is about feeling good, looking better, but overall being healthy. I go back in a couple of weeks for my first review of what I have been doing.

The first few days did not seem to be too much of a challenge, but it was close to the weekend and I was in my safe place, home. Counting calories IS a challenge. Compared to what I had been doing this is an amazing eye opener. The same food I was eating on my old plan is SO MUCH MORE than I needed. I feel good. I have only had 1 day that I felt I needed more but it is also the same day I have 2 workouts. I was asking for more food (may I have more, sir? Can you just hear Oliver Twist's plea for more gruel??) The answer was a quick no. I need to balance out the levels of protein and be happy. Ok, it was not said in a cruel manner at all. It was more like 'this is new. Take it for what it is worth and maybe we can make an adjustment later but right now the plan is the plan."

Lastly, I am learning every day that it is ok not to be perfect. You wondered about that too?? I was raised to be perfect all the time. I am the oldest and am setting examples for everyone. Wow, the pressure! I am freakin' setting examples for the whole world!! Here is the example I want to set.......it is ok NOT to be perfect. Just always put forth your best effort and that is all anyone SHOULD ask of you. That being said, I am moving forward. Doing the best I can. It is nowhere near being perfect and I am ok with that.

So the new and NOT perfect but improved girl moves forward with much success in my future. I can just feel it in my bones!

Bend and Stretch, reach for the stars..........

There goes Jupiter, here comes Mars
Bend and stretch, reach for the sky
Stand on tippy toes up so high~


How many of us grew up with Romper Room? How about Jack LaLanne? I know I did. Who knew with our parents throwing us outside to play was part of being healthy? We thought we were outsmarting them by heading over to our friends house on our bikes! We were running, playing and dragging our feet when we were called in to eat or bedtime! How many of us now need to be cajoled into movement?




Now I spend time stretching virtually every day. I had a knee scope a few years ago and that leg (hip flexor, quad, hamstring, and calf) are extremely tight. My first inclination is to blame the doctor. he refused to order physical therapy after surgery. He wanted me to schedule a total knee replacement. I said I was working hard at losing the weight (still am) and his response was 'you will be a thin person needing a total knee replacement'. That hurt....both physically and mentally. He had done his job so well cutting out or repairing the miniscus that he saw some cartilidge that was jagged. He smoothed it out and in the process left me spots with bone on bone. Thank you Dr. Poopyhead! He told me I would never do aerobics again (wrong) and that my only exercise should be swimming or stationary bike. BOO.



Being the thick headed Italian I am, I knew I was going to show him he was wrong. In 5 weeks I was back to low impact, low intensity jazzercise. I tried the stationary bike and it was painful so I moved on to swimming except the chlorine level at the YMCA made me cry! Over that summer when my pool opened I used it. I did kicks and other things that felt ok. I still do the jazzercise (low impact, HIGH intensity). I walk every day.......I did the Susan G Komen 3 day breast cancer walk. I keep moving.



Let me start by saying I have never been an active stretcher. I am a 'forced for less pain' kind of stretcher!

I move a lot.....I stretch a little. Since having more pain in my feet and legs in general I started seeing a massage therapist. He has cajoled, encouraged, and made me 'show him' (is he from Missouri or something?!) the different stretches he has had me do. I am learning more and more every day that stretching is important. And you know what?? It feels good too!

Life is not just about forward movement. Life is a well rounded event we participate in. This includes stretching. There are many great websites that show various moves. Sparkpeople.com has one section in the exercise area shows you how to stretch. If you view self.com or health.com they always have a featured stretch of the month. We are a society that can google 'how to do xxxx stretch'.

In the end, it improves our quality of life just as much (and maybe more) than regular movement. Both need to be a part of our everyday life. So today and many days in the future, I might just start my day with romper room memories of stretching and bending, reaching for the stars!

Ease on, ease on down the road.......

I am of an age that I remember the FUNKY remake of the Wizard of Oz with Diana Ross and Michael Jackson........The WIZ. It was dancy and fun. Can you hear the music in the background?

Come on and ease on down, ease on down the road
Come on and ease on down, ease on down the road
Don't you carry nothing that might be a load
Come on, ease on down, ease on down the road

I have been easing down the road a lot lately. After work I faithfully take the dog for a walk. She loves wandering through the neighborhood checking out the other dogs and anyone who might be giving out treats. My treat is spending time with my pooch in the cool weather....until I get home. Then MY treat is ice cold water and a piece of fruit. I actually look forward to it...seriously!

I wrote earlier about making changes. I started that today. No time like the present. I got up and went to the gym. Really!! I was afraid to go back......like there was a boogey man that was going to bite me for being away for so long. With my head held high, I sauntered down the stairs, handed over my ID card for swiping, hung up my hoodie and went to the first elliptical machine open. With a racing heart and sweaty palms I assumed the position and started gliding. It felt hard. I did not pick a program for it to put me through paces. I was giving myself a day or two to get back in the swing. I got up to 3000+ strides in 18 minutes. The sweat was streaming down my back and it felt good. I was gliding backwards and forwards. I was holding on part of the time and using a natural swing other times kicking in my core for balance.

Once I felt like I had enough I headed to the bikes. I was a bit more trepidous about picking one of those. Do I sit up high? Low? How do I make it work? They were all new pieces of equipment!


Come on and ease on down, ease on down the road
Come on and ease on down, ease on down the road
Don't you carry nothing that might be a load
Come on, ease on down, ease on down the road

I did find one that looked familiar. The quick start button was not cooperating so I kept peddaling anyway. The biggest reason for this session was to start my knee working in a manner that will allow me to ride the new beautiful bike I got. Eventually the machine prompted me for information and away I went. The news was on (muted) and they had some moldy oldie music playing that I was jamming to. Before I knew it 20 minutes had passed.

Pick your left foot up

When your right one's down

Come on legs keep movin'

Don't you lose no ground

You just keep on keepin'

On the road you choose

Don't you give up walkin'

'cause you gave up shoes

It felt good when it was over. I had more than 5000 steps on my pedometer. I had a bounce in my step and I was smiling. It was hard work but not giving up was sweeter. Here is to day 1 at the gym and the start of many more fun and productive days~

Change is in the air......

I can feel fall....... the leaves are changing, falling. The air is getting crisp in the morning. The squirrels are gathering nuts all in preparation of the new season.

I think of this and change is scary. Exciting but scary! Not when you see gradual changes like seasons. We know that there will be snow in the winter, crisp air in the fall, blistering heat in the summer and the promise of flowers in the spring. I think of this and want to know how I can do this myself.

I find that if I get a good start on the day nutritionally I am golden. If I slip up, I don't know how to stop the snowballing affect. I seem to make one bad choice after another. I have not delved into why although I have been thinking about it alot. Change is in the air....I need change.

I went to a beautiful wedding a couple of weeks ago. The bride was is a young lady I have known since she was 6 month old. Her mother was one of my dearest friends who passed about 18 months ago. (change) Her father is the most doting man......she could not ask for more. Her husband is a wonderful man. They met the most recent traditional way (internet...more change). She became vegan as she thinks it will make a less carbon footprint for her and all the processing of food these days is not healthy for us.

I want to feel good. Right now I feel blech....almost comotose! Breakfast was a drive thru deal (which I really do avoid) and lunch was a sandwich from Panera. Now on any given day one of these choices can be toxic.....2 is pushing me over the edge. Normally breakfast is oatmeal or a cup of plain greek yogurt with some agave nectar and a sweet, gorgeous piece of locally grown fruit. What am I doing??!

I think of this and want to prepare myself physically and mentally for my trip to San Antonio in a couple of weeks. Most meals will be eaten out unless I hit a grocery store and bring some saving grace food.

I also think about the fact that my insurance will not pay for me to visit with a dietician. I love to cook so how can I do it with gusto, flavor, and success in my health journey?

I have found a dietician to chat with. I will keep my food journal as I always do and be honest about portions and ingredients. I am excited for help and success. I am excited to look for smaller little black dresses (as opposed to big black mumus! Omar the tent maker is my designer....or at least that is how I feel). I have found an exercise specialist who will critique my current activity level and tell me where I can make improvement. And on top of this, I am paying for it all. I guess I better be darned serious......eh?

There is so much to be thankful for. I am moving every day........long walks, aerobics, and the occasional bike ride until my knee understands it will happen with more frequency! I am a somewhat healthy, young (it is a state of mind) woman with lots to offer myself.

As my favoite character Mary Tyler Moore would think......toss my hat in the air, enjoy the day and watch out world~

Simple math and deep thought..

It has been awhile since I last sat down and put thought to computer.....and that frustrates me. If this is a new me and a new journey why do I keep doing the same things looking for a new result? (remember this statement!!) New math is like old math in some respects. 1+1=2; 100-50=50....so on and so forth. Just because the kids today don't use an abacus to figure out their homework does not mean a calculator is better.

Now I can see you (as this was me the last few days) scratching my head wondering why 'all the effort' I am putting forth is not garnering the results I so desperately wish for. How desperate am I? Enough to be honest and really take a long hard look at my process?! I work for an engineering test lab. Testing follows specs....specs have tests and rules to follow...ergo a process. So what has my process been of late?

Well, I do go to my workout (my favorite jazzercise class) on T/TH/FR/SU. If I am really ambitious I might do 2 classes on Tuesday. That is not the norm (for the record). I wear this directlife tool that tells me how much of my daily target I have achieved and I wear a pedometer to track my steps. I journal every BLT, record my steps and earn extra points (life according to weight watchers points plus program) that I can choose to consume or not. Going back to simple math...calories out - calories in = weight loss.

I would swear to you every day this is what I am doing but I have noticed of late that I am checking the pedometer to see if I have gotten to my goal of steps. Do I only need 30 more? Easy peasy......run up and down the stairs. Do I need 2500? Hmmm........walk the dog around the complex just might be enough. Did I make the target? Am I short by just a few? Oh well, that is not a big deal today......I will do better tomorrow. Then tomorrow comes.......more of the same (review above listed statement I asked you to remember).

I have not been as religious about weighing and measuring my food intake. I have not been meeting my personal goal for steps. I have not been to the gym in months. I am so done with the negative.

Today, I choose to fill myself up with positive. I will stay positive and not let negativity creep in to hurt me. Do I have you wondering if these are just words? Well, here is my process.

Step 1. Accept me and all my flaws.

Step 2. Get good food to fuel my body. We reap what we sow......sow junk get junk~

Step 3. Exercise because I want to. I really do, sometimes it is just hard to get started. My incentive will be a sweet (or savory) treat when I am done. It can be as simple as a glass of ice cold chocolate almond milk or as decadent as a small individual bite sized piece of chocolate.

Step 4. Continue to attend ww meetings. The information and support are staggering. So why not use the tools offered to me?

Step 5. Give myself a hug. Remind me that I am worth it. Remind me that I am good enough, smart enough and gosh darn it people like me!!

Step 6. Repeat this each day

I need to remember that the demons are in my mind. They do not surround me. I do not have any one person saying to me 'don't exercise......it is not good for you'. Stop thinking I am not worthy. If I treat others with such grace and compassion, why not do it for me? Charity begins at home and I am number 1. Welcome to my world!

Oh where, oh where has my mojo gone....

This says it all. I have always been and will always be a princess......one of the Italian variety (thank you very much) but being a princess does not mean that we are immune from losing our mojo.

For weeks....even months, I ate well, journaled my food and activity. I exercised almost everyday and added long walks with my sassy girl. I was feeling great. Even through losing my dad in March I still plugged along. It was a tribute to him. I am embarrassed and ashamed to say that my tribute to him is going nowhere fast. I had lost my momentum.....my will to fight the good fight.

First I skipped a meeting, then two......which then allowed me to stop tracking my food. If I was not going to face the scale I had time to get it under control, right? Which lead to me stop my nightly walk with sassy. I used the excuse that all the mulch was making her allergies worse (that part is the truth......but I could have done something else or gone without her). The other day I realized I had missed 6 or 7 meetings, had not tracked a bite and with a bad summer cold I had not exercised much. WHAT THE HECK WAS I DOING?

I took this opportunity to set myself straight. Avoiding the issue was not going to make it better AND IT DID NOT MAKE ME A FAILURE. It is the second part of the statement I could not face. I was failing myself, my promise to my dad, myself.....yes I said me twice. need to do this for me. I am tired of being overweight. I am tired of allowing excuses to rule me. I needed to chat with myself and pick myself up, get dusted off and start all over again.

I opened my iPhone app and started by tracking my food for a couple of days......it was easy! Whooda thunk! I woke up early yesterday and made it to my meeting. I faced the scale and all my ghosts and demons. I could not blame the scale for my lack of work and effort. I hear people say all the time 'the scale was/was not my friend'. The scale is an inanimate object....can't do anything except record my activity. Sort of like a computer....it is only as accurate and good as the operator.

Being freshly dusted off, I successfully journaled every BLT (bite, lick, taste) and even went to a birthday party. It was not hard......saying it is hard is in my head. It is my demons making me afraid. What do I have to be afraid of? Success? Sounds silly, eh?

I am moving forward. I feel like I found my mojo....we are having a chat about how we can continue to work together. I am relaxed right now......letting mojo lead the way. I know what to do and how to do it. Now to stop being afraid of success....