Don't be one of the 'BUT' people

I am Catholic and it is Lent.  Yesterday during Mass, they had a priest in to encourage us to do one of the Missions the church was sponsoring.  It is looking at the sacraments and how they enrich and make our every day life what it is.

Every Catholic knows the sacraments are:

Baptism
Reconciliation/Penance
Communion
Confirmation
Marriage
Holy orders
Anointing of the sick

I have experienced some of these and I know how they affect my life....but Father Mark yesterday had everyone using his tag line.  It went something like:

'God sent me to tell you to come tonight, tomorrow night and Tuesday night; starts at 7 and will last about an hour (make it an hour and a half) and you will have fun'.  It was more the come for a little more than an hour (make it an hour and a half) that everyone was using on their way out.  He had his audience......we listened.  He talked about those who would say 'do you know how busy I am?'.......well God knows.  If you can't come....don't.  He talked about those who wanted to come BUT....what is your but?

Last night I was sitting with a friend who came home from the rehab center.  I was helping her get settled.  Her cat would not come out from hiding; I helped her sister put her bed to a height she could get in and out of while she is still in her boot; we did some laundry and after he sister left we just chatted.  It was so good to see her home.

Tonight, my but is my stomach is in knots.  There were lots of things going on at work and I just let it all get to me.  That is my fault.  I cannot fix everything but fell back into an old pattern of  trying to.  What did it get me?  An upset stomach and a headache.  Could I work past this and have gone tonight?  I am sure if I really was motivated I could have.  What was I afraid of?  Feeling silly about talking of our sacraments and the religion I am embracing and enjoy?

I don't always feel so smart.  I know my basics but become intimidated when others start going really deep.  It is not that I am not interested, I just have not gone deep into meaning and full practice.  It is something that I am working on.

This brought up all other feelings about when we say BUT.  BUT (in my mind) means there is some fear.  What am I trying to avoid?  Can I find a reason not to do something?  Why do I need to find a reason?  Who really cares if I am there or not?  I guess the answer is me.

I play the same game (more recently) with whether I should exercise or not.  I have been cleared....BUT my foot hurts.  Yea, so?  Put my big girl panties on and just do it.  What the hell is going to change if I ignore it?  NOTHING.  Do I want to see change?  YES.  I want to be more active; I want to get strong again; I want my old life back....well the active part of it.

Tomorrow is the last in the 3 day series.  I plan not to use BUT as my excuse.  I want to hear Father Mark engage me in whatever sacraments are left to talk about....and I will stop using BUT in my sentences.  Either I want to do it or not.  NO BUTS.  Make a choice and live with it....and if I regret the decision, change it next time.

We are exactly where we are supposed to be.  We are with the people we are supposed to be.  If we want change we have to invite it in and manifest it.  It won't happen because we dream of it.  We have to be a willing participant.

I will strive to no longer be one of the BUT people........care to join me?!