Writers block?!

I am sitting here on a Sunday afternoon.  Laundry is going, sheets have been changed.  Knock going to church off the list too.  It was an awesome Mass.  We had the Little Sisters of the Poor to ask for donations.  Sister got up to tell a story and explain how their group work with the elderly.  They give them a place to stay, food to eat, keep them well and if nobody comes forward when they pass, they give them a nice burial.

As we all know, we women kill off our men......plain and simple there are more elderly women than men.  One day they realized this in their new home that was built and renovated.....so the nuns started praying for men!!  Now how funny is that?!

Well, I guess it is funny that nuns were doing it, but I have been tired of being alone.  My life is great...no doubt about it but I would LOVE to share it with someone.  So I looked to see who the patron saints of the single people were.  At the top of the list was Blessed Virgin Mary......well why not?  She has God's ear!!  There were a few others too, but I figured if I have to ask for help, besides going to the Big Guy, I would have a chat with his mother too!

To clarify, I am not asking her for a specific man.  I am asking for a man that has a faith like mine; that he is hard working; he will cherish me as I will him; looking for a man that will not mind going to church with me on Sunday while I sing in the choir.  I am also looking for the man that will not mind that I take care of him equally; support and love him; lift him up and walk with him on his journey.......to make it our journey.  So I have not prayed for George Clooney or any other hunk of the week!

At the same time I had reopened a dating profile I had from a long time ago.  I updated my story and pictures and peeked around.  Most of what they were matching me up with was not what I was looking for.  They were too old (and a few too young); most appeared to be unemployed or at least underemployed when I looked at their salaries posting.  I understand that can be a lie but if they lie about that in the profile, what else is fabricated?  Most were separated.......seriously?  In my mind that is a license to cheat and I can't deal with that.  So it used the delete button frequently......more than frequently.....ALL THE TIME!

Then I had received a wink and an email from a gentleman who told me he was on only for the free weekend.  He gave me his email address and asked me to reach out to him.  He is a cutie....and my first thought was why did he pick me, but that was quickly put to rest.  I sat on the email for the better part of a week.  I really was not sure.........now I was continuing my prayers.  On my way to work, on my way home from work, in the shower, and before bed.  Then it hit me, was this part of the answer to the prayers?  So I wrote to him.

Here is where my paranoia kicks in!  I thought I would be smart and set up a new email address to fly under the radar and give only the information I wanted to give.....well, I forgot that gmail shows your full name!  I went through all that effort to be thwarted by an email service!!  Even funnier, when I asked the gent if I had given him my last name, he said "um, yes.  You emailed me!"

I have been journaling about the things I have been worrying about.  I have no idea if this guy will do or say any of the things that have been poor in the past AND I cannot sit here an wait for that stuff to happen.  If I choose to manifest those poor qualities, that is what I will get.  I don't want a repeat of the past......

This gentleman has surprised me with his eloquent writing style, he has dazzled me with his knowledge.  He has blown me away with his good looks, and he is trying to win my heart.  It is hard working through the online dating crap.  He did not understand why I was surprised that he looked like his picture (we have video chatted while he is out of town on business).....I need to let go of the past junk.  I need to let go of the past junk.  I NEED TO LET GO OF THE PAST JUNK.

I am quietly optimistic that he is the real deal.  I don't feel the need to know what he is doing every moment because he is a very busy guy (again....leave the crap in the past).  He has woken me up with a text message (which really surprised me as he is 3 hours earlier than I am right now), he has video chatted with me, called me on the phone.  He has given me is bio (before I did....I was holding back) and has been very open about who he is.  No secrets.  I ask a question and he answers it.  WOW.

I am still holding my breath a little until we formally meet sometime after next Saturday.  That is when his contract ends and he comes back home to IL.  When I went to church today I asked the Blessed Mother for a sign that he is the one.....or at least the leading contender.  I thanked her and God for listening to my prayers.  I thanked them for guiding me and taking care of me.  I showed my thanks and gratitude by singing particularly well in the choir loft as we had a number of people out sick.  When I got to my car after Mass there was a very lovely text message waiting for me.....maybe it is my sign!

As things move along I will give you all a peek as to what is going on but right now I am thankful and grateful for all that has been presented to me.  Now I need to now how to handle it and nurture it.