It's a coming to Jesus kind of day........

It feels like that kind of day today for many reasons.


I participate in a Weight Watchers @ work meeting.  I say I have been doing it to keep the number of participants up but I am not sure that is the whole truth.  I like the accountability.  I don't have a scale at home and like it like that.  I was the type of person who would step on it every time I walked by it.  I know, it was a sick addiction.  I am not sure where that even came from but one day I threw out the darned thing.  It was crazy!!


I do mind the foods I eat for the most part.  I enjoy what I eat.  Sometimes it is simple and other times super complex.  I try, every day at some point, to avoid processed foods.  I know the chemicals are not good for me; it does not always stop me!


Realizing that the meetings might be coming to an end, we had a reflective morning today.  What are we prepared to do if the numbers decline more?  How hard are we willing to fight?  As we talked I had thoughts of am I really doing this or am I giving it a lick and a prayer?  I decided it was more of the lick and prayer method.  I hate doing things half assed....I must have dug my head in the sand and pretended I was doing my best.  We all can tweak what we are doing to make it better......and that is the current plan.  I will continue to gravitate towards a plant based diet adding the protein I need.  Once upon a time I saw a comic that said the 'meat' of the meal should be the guest of the plate surrounded by the family of veggies.  That sticks in my head still today....now to put it in practice.


In a similar manner, I have been going to the gym doing cardio as prescribed by my former trainer.  I watch the clock like a hawk so I don't do 1 minute more than I have to.  That is sad......very sad.  The funny thing is my body has been craving to really challenge it........so why is the gym not the place for that?  I guess I want more than just cardio but don't know where to start.  I have sent a note to my former trainer asking for more than the cardio.  Once I show more consistency I will be paired up with a trainer so I have to stand on my 2 feet first......


So my coming to Jesus feeling today is that I am doing things a about 50% of the effort I should be putting forth.  If you don't hear from me soon it means I died exerting more effort!!

Decadent Grilled Cheese

Keeping with the coming to Jesus theme, during Lent this was a HUGE staple in our home.  We used the old fashioned land o lakes white american cheese (I had no idea there was yellow cheese until I moved to Iowa!).  Taking some cooking classes I have learned that Fontina or any softer cheese are very yummy!

2 slices of your favorite bread

2-3 slices of cheese.  (My new favorite is fontina but good old fashioned american cheese works)

butter

fry pan (or if you want to be fancy a grill pan)

Butter one side of each slice of bread.  Actually I do one slice and let the butter melt, take it out and butter the other slice and put that butter side down to allow the butter to melt.  Put the slices of cheese on the bread and then top it with the original slice, butter side up.  Let it sit in the pan over a medium heat, watching to make sure it does not burn but gets a great crust on it!  Flip it over and let it sit again until well toasted.  Slice in half and serve with your best tomato soup!!

Until next time..........xxoo

TV and the reality of it all

Let me start by saying my favorite reality TV is Dancing with the Stars......the rest of reality TV could go away and I might not miss it.  I miss the days of variety shows listening to banter, music and frivolity.......


That being said, a friend and I have gotten into the routine of Wednesday night reality TV watching and chatting during it.  We both have different takes on what we are seeing.


Until the season ended, we watched MY 600 lb Life.  It amazed me how people would transform.  I still wonder what brings them to the point that they say 'I can't be 700+ lbs any more'.  Some people seem to accept what they have to do and others fight it tooth and nail.  I don't think one of these shows has had a person take the process and run with it 100% but anything worth having is worth fighting for.


So that season ended and we wondered what we would watch next.  She found My Big Fat Fabulous Life.  This gal Whitney is out there.  I admit she has a great body image and does not allow her weight to get in her way, until it does.


If I remember correctly, she is a 30 something girl who now lives on her own,  In prior seasons she lived at home and her parents are supportive but also encourage her to get her weight under control.  She has created a group against body shaming; she has been to the doctor after an event sent her to the ER with a heart issue; she says she LOVES being fat.


There have been episodes where she has talked about being afraid of being diabetic and changed her eating a little and moved a little to get her A1C under control or at least in a non diabetic range.  She has PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) which can lead to extreme weight gain and has tried to use that as a total excuse for her weight, but then in the next breath shows videos of her working out and being 150 lbs lighter (by a current episode she is maybe 375 lbs).


This is not a bash by any means, I appreciate that this girl does what she needs to do every day and does it proudly.  She tries not to allow anyone to to shame her because of her size.  Things that do bother me is that she drives like a loon.......feeding her mother's baby piglet as she drives, eating while she drives, ALWAYS on the phone and NOT hands free....and in my opinion not paying attention.  I guess with reality camera following you she has a barrier of getting into an accident!!

The last couple of episodes I have heard more and more people talk about how her weight is hurting her.  She threw her back out and was not mobile; she had the heart issue and had to go to the ER to understand how she is stressing her heart; her friends ALL comment about their concerns for her overall health.

Whitney is always saying how she loves being fat.  Fat does not need to mean obese.  I agree that her diagnosis might be a big player in her current situation but there are ways to fight.  My comment to Whitney is you don't have to be 140 lbs soaking wet.  If you want to shed weight to be healthier and kinder to your joints that would be wonderful.  If you want to be a mom someday your current weight might make that harder to achieve.  Whitney has a boyfriend she loves (next week there is some drama there), she has gone bike riding, she leads a dance troupe......she is active and proud of it. She recently started working on a radio station......she is full of life and living!

You are beautiful and brave..........time to be kinder to your heart, your joints, your body,.....YOU.



For an early morning post like this my recipe will be a breakfast treat growing up.  If you saw the movie Moonstruck, it was featured there.

Egg in a Hole

Ingredients:

Crusty Italian bread

Egg

butter

Heat a fry pan on the stove, place a pat of butter in the pan and coat the bottom of the pan.  Tear a hole in a slice of good, crusty Italian bread.  Put the bread in the pan and let it start to toast.  Crack the egg in the hole and let the egg cook.  Once it is set on one side, gently flip the toast over to let the other side cook to your desired doneness of the yummy yolk.

Serve with a delicious cup of coffee.......I take mine Boston  (look it up!)

Until next time..........xxoo

I can't save the world........but I can save myself

Today was a roller coaster day of emotions.  Being part of the Wellness Team in my office, I had to share the news that our Weight Watchers @ Work meeting might be coming to an end.  The writing has been on the wall for some time now.  Per the WW agreement, we need to have 8 paying members each week participating.  Lately we are barely making it AND I am in an office of 65 people.....58 are men.  Men don't have the same hang-ups about weight as women do; they are not emotional like women are.  I can feel the life oozing out of the group AND I CAN'T SAVE THE PROGRAM!  Waaaaahhhhhh....


I broke the news to the group today after one gent told me he had to quit and had his reasons; I respect the fact that he talked to me direct instead of making me find out when the monthly bill came in.  He is a young man with a new family.....a tough decision for him.  I explained to our group about our status and anticipating that there will be an email giving us x weeks to bring the numbers up or shut it down.


A survey was delivered to each employee asking what it would take for them to consider joining the program.  The survey also explained that WW is more than numbers, it tries to take into consideration the whole body, mind and soul.  The age range is from 21-68 and there are a number of people who could benefit from the program but that is a personal decision/choice.  As I saw people reading the email, I also got a few responses.  I heard another nail going in the coffin......another current member was quitting.  There had been some words weeks earlier and there was stress in the air.  The employee explained that he just could not do it any more.  He was one person who DID ME A FAVOR 3 years ago when we started the program.  I needed 10 active people, I begged him to join to let us have the group....and being the kind soul he is he did.  He has stuck with us for 3 years, no questions asked.


I started talking to the leader about his quitting and she was concerned she caused the break down.  I assured her it was not.  I felt like I am fighting to save the world......and it is not mine to save.  Again I realize that I am not Mother Freakin Teresa......and I can only support the program as long as others are willing to put forth the effort.


This was part of the ups and downs I had today.  So, you are reading with me and saying.....so why do you need saving?  I found myelf a few times today ready to be short with people, finding snacks to soothe my hurt.  I needed to ground myself, put my hand on my heart, take a few breaths and come back to the present.  I thought I had gotten there.


After I got home tonight, my knees were killing me.  The barometric pressure affects me so badly these days, I could hardly wobble.  I had dinner (a protein shake), watered the plants and found myself watching a rerun of a Cubs game....yes we lost again!  I had hoped the rerun would have a different outcome!  LOL.  After an hour or so I went to get a glass of ice water.  I saw a plate of penne with vodka sauce.....I stood there at the counter and started eating one piece, then another.  Before I knew it almost all of it was gone.  I was not hungry, I was following an old learned habit.  Eating alone has no calories.........


I threw out the rest of the pasta.  I wandered back up to my cave.........disappointed in myself and feeling cruddy from eating what I did not need or want.  The worst part was I did not feel like I could stop myself.


I am trying to forgive myself, trying to accept that was one moment that I never have to repeat.  I am trying to save myself from a beating I really don't deserve.  I will make the next moment better.  I will forgive myself.  I will move on.  I can save ME through these techniques and many more I have in my arsenal.  I am worth it.  I AM WORTH SAVING........


I like to finish my blogs with a recipe!  Being I was trying to comfort myself today one of my GO TO dishes from Grandma Poissant was Tuna and Rice.

Tuna and Rice

Ingredients:

Rice

Tuna

Mayo

For this recipe, you can make it in small quantities.....I don't like to make big bowls of it......so maybe 

2 or 3 servings.

Make the rice according to directions.  Once it is done, fluff it up and let it start to cool.  Open a can of tuna (in water is best) and drain well.  Mix the tuna with about 1 cup of rice (or a little more...depends how hungry you are!).  Add mayo to taste.  I like my tuna and rice to not be loaded with mayo but a nice coating!

This always made me feel better when I stayed at Grandma's house.....and she always told me it was a DIET dish!

Until next time........xxoo