Sometimes it is NOT all about me.....

Wow, did I really write that?!


The place this is coming from is I have a dear friend moving today.  I am sad, I have shed tears and have tried to make it about me.  How sad I am, how this impacts me.  Boy is that selfish......and not the person I try to be on a regular basis.


I sat down yesterday and started to make a list why this is necessary for my friend.  A little background.....my friend has been living with MS for maybe 10 years.  Up until a year ago, when she had to have surgery for a broken ankle, she was in remission.  The doctors told her family (maybe her too in a drug induced state) that going under the anaesthesia it could affect her MS in the future.  Damned if it did not come true; her doctors have confirmed she is now primary progressive with her MS.


I have watched for the last year or so her ability to get around slow down.  We used to spend long nights on her porch watching the people walk their dogs (K9 patrol is good by us :)   ).  This summer it was too hard to get back in the house.  It was 1 big step.  Late summer this friend sold her car.  We talked about cars with hand controls but in her heart, I think she knew that might not really be an option for her.  One has to be able to get in the car before it can be driven.  We talked about a lot of things....knowing someday she would have to find independent living because our townhomes are really not handicapped accessible.  Yes, modifications could be made BUT imagine the expense putting back the old way when someday the house has to be sold.


My lovely friend is a very smart lady.  She, like I, have never been married.  We are both lucky that we have good family to support us and rally around us.  My pup and I would visit almost daily and I knew she was looking into places she could move to.  We both really thought it would be down the road a piece yet.  Life goes on.....we are along for the ride and follow the detours when we encounter them.......sort of like with your GPS system when you hear it tell you 'recalculating' the route.


When she told me she picked a place, I cried like a baby at her house.  I was listening to her but not really.  I was making it all about me.  Even when she was picking a date to move I had the audacity to say "make sure your sister waits until after the holidays to make you move".  How selfish was that?!  This woman is having to turn her world upside down and I was worried about not seeing her.


I made this list of all the positives she is going to experience:

all the apartment is handicapped accessible
doing things on her own - being self sufficient
being more mobile (she is getting an electric wheel chair.....how cool!)
doing this on her terms; not being forced out of her place.  She had a say in EVERYTHING
this place, if it is not what she needs, does not have a long term commitment
she gets take her cat Pud with her
it is a brand new adventure; what is life without adventure!


I give her so much credit that she has listened to her body and heart.  She has made the tough choice and I need to support that choice.  Like she said, she is not dying......just moving 45 minutes away!  Phones work, there is google hangout for a group of us to chat together.  Lord knows I can and plan to drive over frequently.  I was never a real cat person until I took care of Pud when she was in rehab for her broken ankle.  Now, I love when he comes by and rubs his head on my leg, jumps up to let me pet him.


So, today is about my dear friend.  She is all packed and waiting for the movers to come; she is starting the new adventure.......with her cat and all her friends in her heart.

See you soon in your new place.....oh and Pud, I will bring more fresh catnip for you!!  xxoo