I am sitting here on a Sunday afternoon. Laundry is going, sheets have been changed. Knock going to church off the list too. It was an awesome Mass. We had the Little Sisters of the Poor to ask for donations. Sister got up to tell a story and explain how their group work with the elderly. They give them a place to stay, food to eat, keep them well and if nobody comes forward when they pass, they give them a nice burial.
As we all know, we women kill off our men......plain and simple there are more elderly women than men. One day they realized this in their new home that was built and renovated.....so the nuns started praying for men!! Now how funny is that?!
Well, I guess it is funny that nuns were doing it, but I have been tired of being alone. My life is great...no doubt about it but I would LOVE to share it with someone. So I looked to see who the patron saints of the single people were. At the top of the list was Blessed Virgin Mary......well why not? She has God's ear!! There were a few others too, but I figured if I have to ask for help, besides going to the Big Guy, I would have a chat with his mother too!
To clarify, I am not asking her for a specific man. I am asking for a man that has a faith like mine; that he is hard working; he will cherish me as I will him; looking for a man that will not mind going to church with me on Sunday while I sing in the choir. I am also looking for the man that will not mind that I take care of him equally; support and love him; lift him up and walk with him on his journey.......to make it our journey. So I have not prayed for George Clooney or any other hunk of the week!
At the same time I had reopened a dating profile I had from a long time ago. I updated my story and pictures and peeked around. Most of what they were matching me up with was not what I was looking for. They were too old (and a few too young); most appeared to be unemployed or at least underemployed when I looked at their salaries posting. I understand that can be a lie but if they lie about that in the profile, what else is fabricated? Most were separated.......seriously? In my mind that is a license to cheat and I can't deal with that. So it used the delete button frequently......more than frequently.....ALL THE TIME!
Then I had received a wink and an email from a gentleman who told me he was on only for the free weekend. He gave me his email address and asked me to reach out to him. He is a cutie....and my first thought was why did he pick me, but that was quickly put to rest. I sat on the email for the better part of a week. I really was not sure.........now I was continuing my prayers. On my way to work, on my way home from work, in the shower, and before bed. Then it hit me, was this part of the answer to the prayers? So I wrote to him.
Here is where my paranoia kicks in! I thought I would be smart and set up a new email address to fly under the radar and give only the information I wanted to give.....well, I forgot that gmail shows your full name! I went through all that effort to be thwarted by an email service!! Even funnier, when I asked the gent if I had given him my last name, he said "um, yes. You emailed me!"
I have been journaling about the things I have been worrying about. I have no idea if this guy will do or say any of the things that have been poor in the past AND I cannot sit here an wait for that stuff to happen. If I choose to manifest those poor qualities, that is what I will get. I don't want a repeat of the past......
This gentleman has surprised me with his eloquent writing style, he has dazzled me with his knowledge. He has blown me away with his good looks, and he is trying to win my heart. It is hard working through the online dating crap. He did not understand why I was surprised that he looked like his picture (we have video chatted while he is out of town on business).....I need to let go of the past junk. I need to let go of the past junk. I NEED TO LET GO OF THE PAST JUNK.
I am quietly optimistic that he is the real deal. I don't feel the need to know what he is doing every moment because he is a very busy guy (again....leave the crap in the past). He has woken me up with a text message (which really surprised me as he is 3 hours earlier than I am right now), he has video chatted with me, called me on the phone. He has given me is bio (before I did....I was holding back) and has been very open about who he is. No secrets. I ask a question and he answers it. WOW.
I am still holding my breath a little until we formally meet sometime after next Saturday. That is when his contract ends and he comes back home to IL. When I went to church today I asked the Blessed Mother for a sign that he is the one.....or at least the leading contender. I thanked her and God for listening to my prayers. I thanked them for guiding me and taking care of me. I showed my thanks and gratitude by singing particularly well in the choir loft as we had a number of people out sick. When I got to my car after Mass there was a very lovely text message waiting for me.....maybe it is my sign!
As things move along I will give you all a peek as to what is going on but right now I am thankful and grateful for all that has been presented to me. Now I need to now how to handle it and nurture it.
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Writing is therapy............
Today was a crap storm, borrowing the phrase from one of my favorite country singers Reba McEntire. I did not blow up at anyone; spent a lot of time counting to 10.
It started with the receptionist being a little late and customers coming in much earlier than expected. The combo was not good. It is our policy that all customers are escorted to the cafeteria OR their designated testing area first thing in the morning UNLESS we have secured testing in house. Then they need to be escorted everywhere.
There was a foyer full of people and most of them were with one of our customers. They are having their testing witnessed by various agencies. This is not uncommon except our customer is running 2 projects and has 2 sets of witnesses. This accounts for about 15 people. If I have not mentioned it before, we are running out of space in our office just for US! These groups of people were using 7 of our 9 lunch tables for setup and discussions. Three of the customers came in and decided they were just going to walk back where they wanted to be. The receptionist and I were trying to explain what we were doing (paging the test engineer to come up and get the group) but were ignored. That set my friend off.
When she went into the kitchen to get coffee and saw that they had taken up so much space, she took it upon herself to say something, AFTER I HAD REQUESTED HER NOT TO. Come on.....yes it is inconvenient but good customers are not to be treated poorly. THEN one of the engineers was whining said customer was on credit hold (not to be talked about with the customer); THEN someone else complained that said customer was coming in the side door and the shipping guy was expected to be their doorman.
Do you see where this is going? After I heard about the credit hold issue, I sent a company wide email stating that our staff NEVER has the right to talk to the customer about credit issues. The staff should do their job, save their time and if they cannot post their time, I will take care of it. END OF STORY. I make the decisions with the help of the lab managers if we want to cut someone off at the knees and not let them test. It is NEVER my intention to lose lab time because downtime does not get us paid.
While this was going on, Kathy (receptionist) came back to tell me she had talked to the customer about consolidating their use of the tables. REALLY? Seriously after I said not to?? Kathy thought because she tried to be nice about it, it was ok. IS IT EVER OK TO HURT SOMEONE'S FEELINGS??
At this point the customer leader came to the scheduler and laid it on the line. Were they welcome there? Were there credit issues? We had to fight hard to get this testing done at our facility. Sheesh......suffice to say tomorrow will be a MAJOR suck up day. I have directed the scheduler to order lunch for the whole group as a mea culpa.
Then there was the issue with the employee told his co-worker that he was taking Monday off. Said co-worker was sent offsite for testing so we never got the message. I had words with the employee about letting his MANAGER know what his intention was whether it would have been by email, text, or phone. Oh and he won a little something on the football pool.....I initially did not give it to him. I told him he forfeited it by not showing up to work. About 20 minutes after I gave him his winnings he comes up to me to tell me I paid him wrong. REALLY??!! I am so anal about getting the winners right....so he comes waving a paper in my face....he had the AFC and NFC mixed up! I told him to turn around and go get some work done....grrrr.
What did this do to me today? I had a crap storm day and did not eat my way through it. I may have raised my voice once to the employee who accused me of paying him wrong on the football pool....but I did not raid the chocolate bowl on my desk; I did not eat bags of nuts; I did not go hunting for salt (a good bag of chips). I DID sip water and coffee during the day; I took my laps around the office; I got the billings for the month finished; I got filing done..........these are all huge accomplishments for me, who by nature, is a stress eater.
Writing this here (and in my journal) have afforded me the chance to express it and let it go. I have a lot of work to do on the Brelon (the poor black man ......his words, not mine) thing. I can't respect a man that cheated on his wife for 12 years with another woman (who he just married); he tries to get everything for free or walks around rubbing his belly saying 'the baby is hungry'......this I will continue to journal about, pray about and let go so that maybe God will help me forgive and let go. It is the right thing to do but I am not there yet.
On the way home it started to snow again......I love winter and I love snow. This freaking below zero weather is for someone else.....not me. A friend commented someone should take that darned rodent and bake him in a pot pie of sorts......6 more weeks of winter. Tonight up to 6" of fresh snow to be followed by a low of -7* in the the morning to a high of 15*. I have never had a problem with winter or SAD but it is making me wonder what a good place to hide for a couple of day that is warm!!......did I mention the snow will come back on saturday? Another 6".....followed by negative temperatures again. **sigh**
Keeping the positive in my head will get me through it all.......and it is NOT Groundhog Day again like the movie so tomorrow will be a better day!
It started with the receptionist being a little late and customers coming in much earlier than expected. The combo was not good. It is our policy that all customers are escorted to the cafeteria OR their designated testing area first thing in the morning UNLESS we have secured testing in house. Then they need to be escorted everywhere.
There was a foyer full of people and most of them were with one of our customers. They are having their testing witnessed by various agencies. This is not uncommon except our customer is running 2 projects and has 2 sets of witnesses. This accounts for about 15 people. If I have not mentioned it before, we are running out of space in our office just for US! These groups of people were using 7 of our 9 lunch tables for setup and discussions. Three of the customers came in and decided they were just going to walk back where they wanted to be. The receptionist and I were trying to explain what we were doing (paging the test engineer to come up and get the group) but were ignored. That set my friend off.
When she went into the kitchen to get coffee and saw that they had taken up so much space, she took it upon herself to say something, AFTER I HAD REQUESTED HER NOT TO. Come on.....yes it is inconvenient but good customers are not to be treated poorly. THEN one of the engineers was whining said customer was on credit hold (not to be talked about with the customer); THEN someone else complained that said customer was coming in the side door and the shipping guy was expected to be their doorman.
Do you see where this is going? After I heard about the credit hold issue, I sent a company wide email stating that our staff NEVER has the right to talk to the customer about credit issues. The staff should do their job, save their time and if they cannot post their time, I will take care of it. END OF STORY. I make the decisions with the help of the lab managers if we want to cut someone off at the knees and not let them test. It is NEVER my intention to lose lab time because downtime does not get us paid.
While this was going on, Kathy (receptionist) came back to tell me she had talked to the customer about consolidating their use of the tables. REALLY? Seriously after I said not to?? Kathy thought because she tried to be nice about it, it was ok. IS IT EVER OK TO HURT SOMEONE'S FEELINGS??
At this point the customer leader came to the scheduler and laid it on the line. Were they welcome there? Were there credit issues? We had to fight hard to get this testing done at our facility. Sheesh......suffice to say tomorrow will be a MAJOR suck up day. I have directed the scheduler to order lunch for the whole group as a mea culpa.
Then there was the issue with the employee told his co-worker that he was taking Monday off. Said co-worker was sent offsite for testing so we never got the message. I had words with the employee about letting his MANAGER know what his intention was whether it would have been by email, text, or phone. Oh and he won a little something on the football pool.....I initially did not give it to him. I told him he forfeited it by not showing up to work. About 20 minutes after I gave him his winnings he comes up to me to tell me I paid him wrong. REALLY??!! I am so anal about getting the winners right....so he comes waving a paper in my face....he had the AFC and NFC mixed up! I told him to turn around and go get some work done....grrrr.
What did this do to me today? I had a crap storm day and did not eat my way through it. I may have raised my voice once to the employee who accused me of paying him wrong on the football pool....but I did not raid the chocolate bowl on my desk; I did not eat bags of nuts; I did not go hunting for salt (a good bag of chips). I DID sip water and coffee during the day; I took my laps around the office; I got the billings for the month finished; I got filing done..........these are all huge accomplishments for me, who by nature, is a stress eater.
Writing this here (and in my journal) have afforded me the chance to express it and let it go. I have a lot of work to do on the Brelon (the poor black man ......his words, not mine) thing. I can't respect a man that cheated on his wife for 12 years with another woman (who he just married); he tries to get everything for free or walks around rubbing his belly saying 'the baby is hungry'......this I will continue to journal about, pray about and let go so that maybe God will help me forgive and let go. It is the right thing to do but I am not there yet.
On the way home it started to snow again......I love winter and I love snow. This freaking below zero weather is for someone else.....not me. A friend commented someone should take that darned rodent and bake him in a pot pie of sorts......6 more weeks of winter. Tonight up to 6" of fresh snow to be followed by a low of -7* in the the morning to a high of 15*. I have never had a problem with winter or SAD but it is making me wonder what a good place to hide for a couple of day that is warm!!......did I mention the snow will come back on saturday? Another 6".....followed by negative temperatures again. **sigh**
Keeping the positive in my head will get me through it all.......and it is NOT Groundhog Day again like the movie so tomorrow will be a better day!
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