This new year has been full of cleansing rituals and purging of STUFF. Nothing obscene or to throw up red flags on; plain old clean sweep.
Last weekend I spent the first day opening the pantry and realizing that I could not find anything I was looking for. Not sure what I was looking for but there was so much crap in there I was beside myself.
I got the garbage can, opened the door and started tossing. Looking at expiration dates was scary. I had cans with an expiration of 2008......seriously??! I know I have cleaned this out before.....maybe I read the date wrong but it was tossed. I found items, tastefully simple and Two Sisters (the partylite food line) that had NO EXPIRATION dates. That was really scary to me! Were there that many preservatives in there that could keep this on the shelf indefinitely?! YIKES! One box after another, one jar after another, one can after another found their way into the garbage can. When it was too full, the offending items sat on the floor. I tried to lift the bag out of the garbage can.......nope, it was not happening. I grabbed the box of garbage bags and started filling them to the point where I could carry them to the dumpster. 6, count 'em......6 bags were filled. 4 trips to the dumpster......and now I can see what is on the shelf. I know what is left behind is clean eating. It was one of many steps to lead myself to a healthier lifestyle.
Next I headed to the freezer. There was some containers of ......stuff! Was it broth that I made? I don't know....was it a soup I froze extra of? No clue.....there were bags of edamame that I know were at least 2 years old......out it went. The containers were all put in the sink and thawed; what did not melt went into the garbage. I know that the food left in the freezer all is marked with dates; it is clean food; it is refreshing to know nothing will have freezer burn as one of my intentions for this year is to challenge myself to use food in the pantry and freezer to cut the grocery bill down.
Lastly, I went into the fridge. This was not as scary as I do clean the fridge of the meat/cake regularly. Actually I don't get much meat/cake anymore. You ask what is meat/cake?! It is when you look at the food and ask......is this meat or cake?! I am not saying it was pristine....it was not BUT nothing melted in my hand when it was touched. Yes I did have a squash that was not looking healthy; there were onion skins all over the bottom drawer. Another bag was opened to toss anything that should not continue to live in the fridge. I found herbs purchased with a specific recipe in mind and maybe the recipe was made but the leftovers were not treated with kindness. They were left to die. I had a container of yogurt that I had no clue it was that old.......almost time for a birthday party! Away it went. When all was said and done, even the fridge was clean and organized.
My kitchen strategy is to make 1 pot of soup per week and then 1 or 2 recipes for additional meals. I love cooking and am not a big fan of eating out.....so it will be good for me to have some control over the preservatives that will enter my body. I made a fabulous chicken apple stew last week.....YUM. It is a keeper and will be part of the regular rotation. I had a list, it was followed to the T.....and I had great meals for myself, never feeling deprived or wanting for something. It was the first time in a long time I was not going from one spot to another in search of SOMETHING to graze on. Woot Woot!!
This morning I was on yet another mission to rid myself of STUFF. I was getting help in installing a new TV so I had to clean areas of my bedroom. All the clothes had to be put away. That was one heck of a mission!! Once it was finally complete I pulled out a drawer. The contents were ceremoniously deposited on the bed and the decision was made as to its worth.....keep or toss. The toss pile was divided into 2 sections......toss to the garbage or toss to the donation pile. There are items that will never be donated and each item of clothing was inspected. I do not take stained or items in bad shape to Salvation Army. Everyone deserves to have clothes that are respectable to be worn. One drawer after another had the same process......empty and sort. It was such a good feeling to have only what I want and need in the closet. I am 55 years young and had some items that for me, were no longer age appropriate. I am not a layering type person as I am ALWAYS warm. Someone will be getting some very nice pieces of clothing. I have 1 bin left to go through. That is on the agenda for the morning so I can say emphatically that my closet is clean and good FOR ME.
I am not a minimalist by any stretch of the imagination BUT I know I have clothes that have not been worn for a good long time. I have my work 'uniform' and I am not THAT social yet where I need or even desire all these articles of clothing. Next in the closet will be holiday decorations! I have my lovely niece who will absolutely love to take some of the seasonal decorations.....and I would want to believe that these items are finding a gentle, kind home. The most important thing is they are leaving my house.
What is the purpose of this post? I feel freed from the chains of STUFF. Food stuff......it does not have to be eaten to get rid of it; clothing stuff.....it does not have to be worn by me to be useful. The more I can let go, the more I can find the real me and feel centered/grounded/relief not to have all this STUFF weighing me down. I have enough in my life trying to do just that. Well, I am in control.....there is a new sheriff in town (or at least stronger than ever before) so beware!
Saturday, January 16, 2016
Thursday, January 7, 2016
Sometimes it is NOT all about me.....
Wow, did I really write that?!
The place this is coming from is I have a dear friend moving today. I am sad, I have shed tears and have tried to make it about me. How sad I am, how this impacts me. Boy is that selfish......and not the person I try to be on a regular basis.
I sat down yesterday and started to make a list why this is necessary for my friend. A little background.....my friend has been living with MS for maybe 10 years. Up until a year ago, when she had to have surgery for a broken ankle, she was in remission. The doctors told her family (maybe her too in a drug induced state) that going under the anaesthesia it could affect her MS in the future. Damned if it did not come true; her doctors have confirmed she is now primary progressive with her MS.
I have watched for the last year or so her ability to get around slow down. We used to spend long nights on her porch watching the people walk their dogs (K9 patrol is good by us :) ). This summer it was too hard to get back in the house. It was 1 big step. Late summer this friend sold her car. We talked about cars with hand controls but in her heart, I think she knew that might not really be an option for her. One has to be able to get in the car before it can be driven. We talked about a lot of things....knowing someday she would have to find independent living because our townhomes are really not handicapped accessible. Yes, modifications could be made BUT imagine the expense putting back the old way when someday the house has to be sold.
My lovely friend is a very smart lady. She, like I, have never been married. We are both lucky that we have good family to support us and rally around us. My pup and I would visit almost daily and I knew she was looking into places she could move to. We both really thought it would be down the road a piece yet. Life goes on.....we are along for the ride and follow the detours when we encounter them.......sort of like with your GPS system when you hear it tell you 'recalculating' the route.
When she told me she picked a place, I cried like a baby at her house. I was listening to her but not really. I was making it all about me. Even when she was picking a date to move I had the audacity to say "make sure your sister waits until after the holidays to make you move". How selfish was that?! This woman is having to turn her world upside down and I was worried about not seeing her.
I made this list of all the positives she is going to experience:
all the apartment is handicapped accessible
doing things on her own - being self sufficient
being more mobile (she is getting an electric wheel chair.....how cool!)
doing this on her terms; not being forced out of her place. She had a say in EVERYTHING
this place, if it is not what she needs, does not have a long term commitment
she gets take her cat Pud with her
it is a brand new adventure; what is life without adventure!
I give her so much credit that she has listened to her body and heart. She has made the tough choice and I need to support that choice. Like she said, she is not dying......just moving 45 minutes away! Phones work, there is google hangout for a group of us to chat together. Lord knows I can and plan to drive over frequently. I was never a real cat person until I took care of Pud when she was in rehab for her broken ankle. Now, I love when he comes by and rubs his head on my leg, jumps up to let me pet him.
So, today is about my dear friend. She is all packed and waiting for the movers to come; she is starting the new adventure.......with her cat and all her friends in her heart.
See you soon in your new place.....oh and Pud, I will bring more fresh catnip for you!! xxoo
The place this is coming from is I have a dear friend moving today. I am sad, I have shed tears and have tried to make it about me. How sad I am, how this impacts me. Boy is that selfish......and not the person I try to be on a regular basis.
I sat down yesterday and started to make a list why this is necessary for my friend. A little background.....my friend has been living with MS for maybe 10 years. Up until a year ago, when she had to have surgery for a broken ankle, she was in remission. The doctors told her family (maybe her too in a drug induced state) that going under the anaesthesia it could affect her MS in the future. Damned if it did not come true; her doctors have confirmed she is now primary progressive with her MS.
I have watched for the last year or so her ability to get around slow down. We used to spend long nights on her porch watching the people walk their dogs (K9 patrol is good by us :) ). This summer it was too hard to get back in the house. It was 1 big step. Late summer this friend sold her car. We talked about cars with hand controls but in her heart, I think she knew that might not really be an option for her. One has to be able to get in the car before it can be driven. We talked about a lot of things....knowing someday she would have to find independent living because our townhomes are really not handicapped accessible. Yes, modifications could be made BUT imagine the expense putting back the old way when someday the house has to be sold.
My lovely friend is a very smart lady. She, like I, have never been married. We are both lucky that we have good family to support us and rally around us. My pup and I would visit almost daily and I knew she was looking into places she could move to. We both really thought it would be down the road a piece yet. Life goes on.....we are along for the ride and follow the detours when we encounter them.......sort of like with your GPS system when you hear it tell you 'recalculating' the route.
When she told me she picked a place, I cried like a baby at her house. I was listening to her but not really. I was making it all about me. Even when she was picking a date to move I had the audacity to say "make sure your sister waits until after the holidays to make you move". How selfish was that?! This woman is having to turn her world upside down and I was worried about not seeing her.
I made this list of all the positives she is going to experience:
all the apartment is handicapped accessible
doing things on her own - being self sufficient
being more mobile (she is getting an electric wheel chair.....how cool!)
doing this on her terms; not being forced out of her place. She had a say in EVERYTHING
this place, if it is not what she needs, does not have a long term commitment
she gets take her cat Pud with her
it is a brand new adventure; what is life without adventure!
I give her so much credit that she has listened to her body and heart. She has made the tough choice and I need to support that choice. Like she said, she is not dying......just moving 45 minutes away! Phones work, there is google hangout for a group of us to chat together. Lord knows I can and plan to drive over frequently. I was never a real cat person until I took care of Pud when she was in rehab for her broken ankle. Now, I love when he comes by and rubs his head on my leg, jumps up to let me pet him.
So, today is about my dear friend. She is all packed and waiting for the movers to come; she is starting the new adventure.......with her cat and all her friends in her heart.
See you soon in your new place.....oh and Pud, I will bring more fresh catnip for you!! xxoo
Monday, January 4, 2016
Fearless Living and Revelation
I have been slowly living fearlessly. I see some of you shaking your head! Yes you can live fearlessly and be slow about it!
Let me explain. In the past, I would blow off an invitation, forget about a concert I got a ticket to, skip a cooking class all in the name of staying in my comfort zone. I get feeling like 'I can do this alone' and when push came to shove I caved and hid in my cave.
One of my first adventures was to visit my dear god child's new adopted baby. This cherub is too precious. She let Auntie Elaine hold her, feed her. I played with her fingers and toes; she cooed and drooled.......all the things a 3.5 month old baby is supposed to do. Mommy took care of the burping and diaper changing! Love the mama!! If I had listened to that ugly voice in my head (to be named DEVIL WOMAN) I would have sat on the couch, watched TV (ok, listened to TV) while I knit away on my project. I love that I got up and went without any second thoughts! Babies are wonderful~
I am updating my bucket list, there are things on there that I have no desire for any more (dancing on a bar?!....really? That is so Coyote Ugly ago!).....and adding things like lessons on how to really use my camera to take those fabulous pictures people post on FB all the time!
Now to that ugly monster......I have to address the elephant in the room so I can sweep it under the rug. Someone I know is getting married. I am happy for her. She has not lived by the golden rules as I have so I want to know why her dreams are coming true and mine are not.......do you want to know why? It came to me a minute ago.......she lives FEARLESSLY and continues to focus on what she wants. I have not always been strong like that.
Now her not following the golden rules, did that really make a difference? Probably not. I mean, in my head it matters but does it really? She is living her life the best way she knows how.....and I think, rather I believe, I have chosen to sit back and watch WAITING for life to hand me what I want because I have been a good girl. Goody two shoes. America's darling.......we see what I have gotten for that?!!
Well, no more. I am living and DOING what I feel is right for me regardless of what anyone else might think. I am FEARLESS AND I am ENOUGH.
See you soon..
Let me explain. In the past, I would blow off an invitation, forget about a concert I got a ticket to, skip a cooking class all in the name of staying in my comfort zone. I get feeling like 'I can do this alone' and when push came to shove I caved and hid in my cave.
One of my first adventures was to visit my dear god child's new adopted baby. This cherub is too precious. She let Auntie Elaine hold her, feed her. I played with her fingers and toes; she cooed and drooled.......all the things a 3.5 month old baby is supposed to do. Mommy took care of the burping and diaper changing! Love the mama!! If I had listened to that ugly voice in my head (to be named DEVIL WOMAN) I would have sat on the couch, watched TV (ok, listened to TV) while I knit away on my project. I love that I got up and went without any second thoughts! Babies are wonderful~
I am updating my bucket list, there are things on there that I have no desire for any more (dancing on a bar?!....really? That is so Coyote Ugly ago!).....and adding things like lessons on how to really use my camera to take those fabulous pictures people post on FB all the time!
Now to that ugly monster......I have to address the elephant in the room so I can sweep it under the rug. Someone I know is getting married. I am happy for her. She has not lived by the golden rules as I have so I want to know why her dreams are coming true and mine are not.......do you want to know why? It came to me a minute ago.......she lives FEARLESSLY and continues to focus on what she wants. I have not always been strong like that.
Now her not following the golden rules, did that really make a difference? Probably not. I mean, in my head it matters but does it really? She is living her life the best way she knows how.....and I think, rather I believe, I have chosen to sit back and watch WAITING for life to hand me what I want because I have been a good girl. Goody two shoes. America's darling.......we see what I have gotten for that?!!
Well, no more. I am living and DOING what I feel is right for me regardless of what anyone else might think. I am FEARLESS AND I am ENOUGH.
See you soon..
Saturday, December 26, 2015
Pick a word......or two
It is almost New Year's Eve which makes me think of new years resolutions. Talk about rushing the days away!
I am engaged in a group that is a bit different in making me think outside of the box when it comes to diet and exercise and, in general, life! One of the challenges we were given was INSTEAD of making a list of new year's resolutions, why not pick a word or two that would reflect what you want to achieve in the next year. What is the difference you ask? Well when you are working towards something, you allow yourself to fail, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again. Hopefully the second time will not be doing the same thing again expecting different results!!
I have taken this to heart........resolutions have the connotation of failure. How many times have we seen the groups of people going to the gym and in 4 weeks stop going; how many people quickly join weight loss programs with the intention of being at a goal weight in 2 months? This is not my plan anymore.
The words I have chosen for the year are FEARLESS and ENOUGH.
Fearless is HUGE for me. Sometimes I listen to the voices in my head that tell me that because I have not been to the gym in a long time, people will look at me and think WHY is she coming in now and how long will she last? This same voice has told me in the past that I am not going to lose weight because I love to cook. I am going to be fat because people in my family have all been fat. Well HELGA......go soak your head! I have been fearful for so long that I am excited to break those shackles.
By no means will I be perfect; we are all made perfectly imperfect, that I am sure of! I have plans to try different things. I love my jazzercise class (which I have been absent from) but need something more gentle too. I have researched restorative yoga (I hope the yogi this time understands that I have NO experience with this an need to start small); in the same building (actually in the same studio on a different day) there are belly dancing classes. I have taken a brief session with a group of friends on a cruise......one of my friends who led the class was a prima belly dancer (does the word prima go with belly dancing or just ballerina?!)
I am going to go see movies even if it means going alone. There is no sin in going alone. I always thought that going alone meant you had no friends or date. How silly is that?! I want to see every romantic comedy and fun movie that tickles my funny bone. I used to go to the movies all the time......but I guess, as I look back, was usually with a guy I was seeing. I guess that is how I have associated the two......BUT NO MORE.
I have created a vision board and wish I knew how to post it here in the blog. It reflects the things I really want to try; ballroom dancing, belly dancing, body movement in general.
This also needs to be part of my life in terms of meeting new people. I have been through the worst (I hope) of the dating websites. I am POSITIVE that I won't go down that same path again but hope by putting good energy and vibes out there my mr close enough will find me.....maybe even at one of the new things I want to try!
Enough is the other word. I AM ENOUGH. I don't need to get another degree unless it is really something I am interested in. The last 2 I got were because it was expected of me. I worked like a dog with groups that were not as invested in it as I was....or maybe it was HELGA again; I worked hard for a perfect grade/score/presentation. I made myself crazy...and a 100 and a 95 were still an A; in real life who cares if it is an A+, A or A-...did I learn something? Was I going to be able to apply it when necessary? Sheesh, the hours of stress and missed events were NOT worth it. I can say that now because I am in a different place but in the heat of the moment I was crazed. When I got my second MBA I was in a class with a girl who was MORE off the chart than I. I did not think anyone like her existed. I figured out half way through the class she was rewriting everyone's work so it sounded cohesive. I was floored and tried to tell her to stop. We all had our words and sections ...they should be presented as such. She spouted to me she needed a perfect grade or would feel like a failure...did that hit me in the face! I realized I was once that person.
I am enough when it comes to relationships. Not just the kind with a guy...with friends too. I don't have to make myself different or mold myself to what they want to see. Variety is the spice of life and if we all colored with the basic 8 crayons life would be boring. I am a pretty fun person. I am smart, funny, sensitive, talented....
I am enough for me.
Listening to myself I need to respect me and my time. I need to book myself downtime or pampering time. If I don't take care of me mentally, physically, nutritionally no one else will. I need to be good for myself before I can be for anyone else.
So.......Happy New Year! Are you going to pick a word and try to live it to the fullest?!
I am engaged in a group that is a bit different in making me think outside of the box when it comes to diet and exercise and, in general, life! One of the challenges we were given was INSTEAD of making a list of new year's resolutions, why not pick a word or two that would reflect what you want to achieve in the next year. What is the difference you ask? Well when you are working towards something, you allow yourself to fail, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again. Hopefully the second time will not be doing the same thing again expecting different results!!
I have taken this to heart........resolutions have the connotation of failure. How many times have we seen the groups of people going to the gym and in 4 weeks stop going; how many people quickly join weight loss programs with the intention of being at a goal weight in 2 months? This is not my plan anymore.
The words I have chosen for the year are FEARLESS and ENOUGH.
Fearless is HUGE for me. Sometimes I listen to the voices in my head that tell me that because I have not been to the gym in a long time, people will look at me and think WHY is she coming in now and how long will she last? This same voice has told me in the past that I am not going to lose weight because I love to cook. I am going to be fat because people in my family have all been fat. Well HELGA......go soak your head! I have been fearful for so long that I am excited to break those shackles.
By no means will I be perfect; we are all made perfectly imperfect, that I am sure of! I have plans to try different things. I love my jazzercise class (which I have been absent from) but need something more gentle too. I have researched restorative yoga (I hope the yogi this time understands that I have NO experience with this an need to start small); in the same building (actually in the same studio on a different day) there are belly dancing classes. I have taken a brief session with a group of friends on a cruise......one of my friends who led the class was a prima belly dancer (does the word prima go with belly dancing or just ballerina?!)I am going to go see movies even if it means going alone. There is no sin in going alone. I always thought that going alone meant you had no friends or date. How silly is that?! I want to see every romantic comedy and fun movie that tickles my funny bone. I used to go to the movies all the time......but I guess, as I look back, was usually with a guy I was seeing. I guess that is how I have associated the two......BUT NO MORE.
I have created a vision board and wish I knew how to post it here in the blog. It reflects the things I really want to try; ballroom dancing, belly dancing, body movement in general.
This also needs to be part of my life in terms of meeting new people. I have been through the worst (I hope) of the dating websites. I am POSITIVE that I won't go down that same path again but hope by putting good energy and vibes out there my mr close enough will find me.....maybe even at one of the new things I want to try!
Enough is the other word. I AM ENOUGH. I don't need to get another degree unless it is really something I am interested in. The last 2 I got were because it was expected of me. I worked like a dog with groups that were not as invested in it as I was....or maybe it was HELGA again; I worked hard for a perfect grade/score/presentation. I made myself crazy...and a 100 and a 95 were still an A; in real life who cares if it is an A+, A or A-...did I learn something? Was I going to be able to apply it when necessary? Sheesh, the hours of stress and missed events were NOT worth it. I can say that now because I am in a different place but in the heat of the moment I was crazed. When I got my second MBA I was in a class with a girl who was MORE off the chart than I. I did not think anyone like her existed. I figured out half way through the class she was rewriting everyone's work so it sounded cohesive. I was floored and tried to tell her to stop. We all had our words and sections ...they should be presented as such. She spouted to me she needed a perfect grade or would feel like a failure...did that hit me in the face! I realized I was once that person.
I am enough when it comes to relationships. Not just the kind with a guy...with friends too. I don't have to make myself different or mold myself to what they want to see. Variety is the spice of life and if we all colored with the basic 8 crayons life would be boring. I am a pretty fun person. I am smart, funny, sensitive, talented....
I am enough for me.
So.......Happy New Year! Are you going to pick a word and try to live it to the fullest?!
Wednesday, December 2, 2015
Getting started.......a wee bit early
2015 is coming quickly to an end. There have been some highs and some lows...and a lot of in betweens. Being ever hopeful, I am looking forward to a new year. Does that sound right? I am excited; the anticipation of what is to come!
I do not want you to think I am wishing time away. I love that it is snowing right now! The grass is lightly covered, the roads are damp and all is peaceful, well except for the accidents reported by the news reporters.
I am celebrating with friends; I am meeting 2 friends tonight for dinner; going to a gathering on Sunday to meet up with other friends. I am shopping, looking for the most amazing gifts for friends and family.....I can't buy unless the gift SHOUTS their name!! It really does......I hope I am the only one who hears the voices in my head. Ha ha!
This past year there has been lots of fun. I was on a cruise with 26 of my best friends who met online. We laughed, ate, danced.....walked. We walked a lot as we hit various ports...oh and we knit. We did knit!! I maybe a novice but they showed me what is possible with time and practice!
It has also been sad. I lost my best fur baby. Sassy was the best dog ever. She was love, fun, and happiness all rolled up in one big ball. She did, however, bring me a new fur baby that I am hoping will be the best ever! Lily came from a puppy mill so we are working through stuff......like giving mama kisses!!
There were milestones.....my nephew Zak graduated high school! My mom flew out for the event and we had a blast. My 'kids' are really pretty cool kids and this auntie loves them to the moon and back.
My goal with the new year blog is this, I hope and plan to write 1 time per week. It will be about being grateful in life, successes and challenges, but most of all sharing and opening my heart and head to all the possibilities. I am setting intentions for all the things I wish for and hope to achieve.
I hope you will join me along the way.......let's have some fun!! Love to all and please enjoy the best Christmas season possible and look forward to the New Year and all it promises! xxoo
I do not want you to think I am wishing time away. I love that it is snowing right now! The grass is lightly covered, the roads are damp and all is peaceful, well except for the accidents reported by the news reporters.
I am celebrating with friends; I am meeting 2 friends tonight for dinner; going to a gathering on Sunday to meet up with other friends. I am shopping, looking for the most amazing gifts for friends and family.....I can't buy unless the gift SHOUTS their name!! It really does......I hope I am the only one who hears the voices in my head. Ha ha!
This past year there has been lots of fun. I was on a cruise with 26 of my best friends who met online. We laughed, ate, danced.....walked. We walked a lot as we hit various ports...oh and we knit. We did knit!! I maybe a novice but they showed me what is possible with time and practice!
It has also been sad. I lost my best fur baby. Sassy was the best dog ever. She was love, fun, and happiness all rolled up in one big ball. She did, however, bring me a new fur baby that I am hoping will be the best ever! Lily came from a puppy mill so we are working through stuff......like giving mama kisses!!
There were milestones.....my nephew Zak graduated high school! My mom flew out for the event and we had a blast. My 'kids' are really pretty cool kids and this auntie loves them to the moon and back.
My goal with the new year blog is this, I hope and plan to write 1 time per week. It will be about being grateful in life, successes and challenges, but most of all sharing and opening my heart and head to all the possibilities. I am setting intentions for all the things I wish for and hope to achieve.
I hope you will join me along the way.......let's have some fun!! Love to all and please enjoy the best Christmas season possible and look forward to the New Year and all it promises! xxoo
Thursday, July 24, 2014
Licking my wounds and moving on......
I have been dealing with a lot of emotions lately. I have closed some chapters, shut some windows, and gone looking for those other doors to be open.
There was the friend who was working out of state........and out of the country. There were words of wanting to settle down. He was tired of working all over the place. I took him at his word. That is what I do......I am a believer; a glass half full kind of girl. As this last project was coming to a close, he got a request to review yet another project for him to be away. I was tired of waiting. All the words could not fill the gap between here and wherever the next job was to be. I offered to continue to chat but I was emphatic that I was not waiting any longer. When he gets back to IL he can look me up if he chooses. I got some of the 'I don't believe this' and 'I will be home, I promise' but those types of promise were thin and wearing on me and my heart. CHAPTER CLOSED.
The 90 days have passed with the food sensitivities. I thought I would be more excited.....well, actually I was. The first thing I tried was pasta. I was doing the happy dance.....one of my most favorite comfort foods is pasta with tuna, onions, and mayo. OMG.....did my stomach hurt. I started to wonder what was making me hurt. A few days later I tried angel air pasta with butter and cheese. Again I had the achy belly. Digestive enzymes was about the only thing that gave me relief. I wondered if it was the cheese.....surely it would not be the pasta! I let a few more days go by and again I made a pasta dish (how many Italians can pass up a good pasta dish) and had the same reaction. It most likely is the gluten in the pasta. I might have to try quinoa pasta instead. I do know that because of the reaction, I will let another 60 days go by and let my stomach lining continue to heal. I have had a similar reaction to cashews (boo!) so again, letting time pass will allow the stomach to heal and eventually I will be able to enjoy all the 'hit list' foods! WINDOW SHUT.
I am looking for something new to be passionate about. One thing I did was renew a dating website profile. I have decided that if there is not an immediate interest, I will bow out nicely and say no. I am not desperate to have a man in my life. I want a man in my life but it does not make me who I am. I am much more than a gal with a man. Heck.....that what BOB is for, right?! DOOR OPEN
I have made inquiries about dance lessons. I am not sure if I can wear heels for dancing so that is my biggest concern. I have asked the question and am waiting for an answer back. I have been reading the book "A year with Eleanor" (Roosevelt) and how Eleanor faced her fears and the lead in the story is doing the same thing. I don't feel as graceful as I once did but I know I can be again! DOOR OPEN
I have searched out a physical therapist for a consult on my knee and ankle. They can't continue to hurt and me not do something about it. I have to try. If there is nothing else I can do, so be it; if I don't ask I will never know and then just complain. I saw a picture the other day that said "complaining without a solution is whining"......and I don't want any cheese with that whine! Time to seek and conquer. DOOR OPEN
I found a store that will help me finish 2 quilts I have been working on AND offers knitting lessons too!
BONUS........so I am hoping over the next weeks to get my quilt to the point I can get their input. I am also looking forward to hearing from the knitting instructor......then I can join my cyber friends in knitting! DOOR OPEN
I am very excited to see what the future holds and what 'trouble' I can get into. I will be in Italy in a few weeks and for that I am truly excited. Choir will be coming back together soon.......I love singing in the choir! Summer will come to an end and Fall will arrive, followed by Winter and snow (my favorite). I am not wishing time away but am looking to the future, one event at a time, to savor what is being brought to me!
There was the friend who was working out of state........and out of the country. There were words of wanting to settle down. He was tired of working all over the place. I took him at his word. That is what I do......I am a believer; a glass half full kind of girl. As this last project was coming to a close, he got a request to review yet another project for him to be away. I was tired of waiting. All the words could not fill the gap between here and wherever the next job was to be. I offered to continue to chat but I was emphatic that I was not waiting any longer. When he gets back to IL he can look me up if he chooses. I got some of the 'I don't believe this' and 'I will be home, I promise' but those types of promise were thin and wearing on me and my heart. CHAPTER CLOSED.
The 90 days have passed with the food sensitivities. I thought I would be more excited.....well, actually I was. The first thing I tried was pasta. I was doing the happy dance.....one of my most favorite comfort foods is pasta with tuna, onions, and mayo. OMG.....did my stomach hurt. I started to wonder what was making me hurt. A few days later I tried angel air pasta with butter and cheese. Again I had the achy belly. Digestive enzymes was about the only thing that gave me relief. I wondered if it was the cheese.....surely it would not be the pasta! I let a few more days go by and again I made a pasta dish (how many Italians can pass up a good pasta dish) and had the same reaction. It most likely is the gluten in the pasta. I might have to try quinoa pasta instead. I do know that because of the reaction, I will let another 60 days go by and let my stomach lining continue to heal. I have had a similar reaction to cashews (boo!) so again, letting time pass will allow the stomach to heal and eventually I will be able to enjoy all the 'hit list' foods! WINDOW SHUT.I am looking for something new to be passionate about. One thing I did was renew a dating website profile. I have decided that if there is not an immediate interest, I will bow out nicely and say no. I am not desperate to have a man in my life. I want a man in my life but it does not make me who I am. I am much more than a gal with a man. Heck.....that what BOB is for, right?! DOOR OPEN
I have made inquiries about dance lessons. I am not sure if I can wear heels for dancing so that is my biggest concern. I have asked the question and am waiting for an answer back. I have been reading the book "A year with Eleanor" (Roosevelt) and how Eleanor faced her fears and the lead in the story is doing the same thing. I don't feel as graceful as I once did but I know I can be again! DOOR OPENI have searched out a physical therapist for a consult on my knee and ankle. They can't continue to hurt and me not do something about it. I have to try. If there is nothing else I can do, so be it; if I don't ask I will never know and then just complain. I saw a picture the other day that said "complaining without a solution is whining"......and I don't want any cheese with that whine! Time to seek and conquer. DOOR OPEN
I found a store that will help me finish 2 quilts I have been working on AND offers knitting lessons too!
BONUS........so I am hoping over the next weeks to get my quilt to the point I can get their input. I am also looking forward to hearing from the knitting instructor......then I can join my cyber friends in knitting! DOOR OPENI am very excited to see what the future holds and what 'trouble' I can get into. I will be in Italy in a few weeks and for that I am truly excited. Choir will be coming back together soon.......I love singing in the choir! Summer will come to an end and Fall will arrive, followed by Winter and snow (my favorite). I am not wishing time away but am looking to the future, one event at a time, to savor what is being brought to me!
Monday, June 23, 2014
Lessons I have learned.........Part 1
Wow........it has been awhile since I took the time to write. It feels good to put thoughts to paper (even if it is cyber paper!)
Life has been crazy but I have the choice of falling for the crap and wallowing in it or going in a different, sometimes more difficult but fulfilling , path. All choices...
It has always been a struggle for me to keep a pristine house. It is not me.....it is my mother. She is a great house keeper. Everything is always put away. I have tried......truly. The last time my mother was here she commented on how I did not keep house.....I told her I keep house, just not like she does. My lesson: Hire a cleaning lady! Angie is a keeper, and I don't have to stress about having a messy place. I have been purging and I do have stuff to put away before she gets here. I now keep the kitchen table clean all the time. Mail is sorted daily and taken care of. It feel freeing. I do what feels like the easy stuff and I don't stress about it anymore. Angie does a much better job than I did because all I did was resent having to do it!!
Eating well has always been a challenge for me. I, for the most part, do a good job. I am lucky that I love fresh fruits and veggies. I struggle with portion control. I need to stop being resentful of eating healthy. It does not happen often but when those voices in my head (appropriately named DEVIL WOMAN) encourage me to eat something else, a little more, a smidge of this.....she does not have my well being. She has all my negativity and insecurity. My lesson: Keep these times at a minimum. When DW gets loud, I am learning more to tell her shut the hell up! I am so worth everything I do for myself and I DO have my best interest at heart. When they do happen, forgive it and move on. I can't change what I just did but I can move forward in a better attitude and state of being.
Walking with my head up high is NOT something I do. I am always looking at the ground like I don't want to make eye contact. In my defense (just a little) I have no depth perception so I think of it as guiding myself. I am practicing walking with my head held high, shoulders back, walking with purpose (even if it is just laps around the lab). My lesson: Walking with my head up I am not missing out on the beautiful scenery. I am not missing seeing people smiling and laughing. I am not missing so many things. Just remember, no laughing if I trip because I did not see the crack in the sidewalk! LOL!
Well, this is all I have for now. There will be future installments of Lessons I have Learned!
Life has been crazy but I have the choice of falling for the crap and wallowing in it or going in a different, sometimes more difficult but fulfilling , path. All choices...
It has always been a struggle for me to keep a pristine house. It is not me.....it is my mother. She is a great house keeper. Everything is always put away. I have tried......truly. The last time my mother was here she commented on how I did not keep house.....I told her I keep house, just not like she does. My lesson: Hire a cleaning lady! Angie is a keeper, and I don't have to stress about having a messy place. I have been purging and I do have stuff to put away before she gets here. I now keep the kitchen table clean all the time. Mail is sorted daily and taken care of. It feel freeing. I do what feels like the easy stuff and I don't stress about it anymore. Angie does a much better job than I did because all I did was resent having to do it!!
Eating well has always been a challenge for me. I, for the most part, do a good job. I am lucky that I love fresh fruits and veggies. I struggle with portion control. I need to stop being resentful of eating healthy. It does not happen often but when those voices in my head (appropriately named DEVIL WOMAN) encourage me to eat something else, a little more, a smidge of this.....she does not have my well being. She has all my negativity and insecurity. My lesson: Keep these times at a minimum. When DW gets loud, I am learning more to tell her shut the hell up! I am so worth everything I do for myself and I DO have my best interest at heart. When they do happen, forgive it and move on. I can't change what I just did but I can move forward in a better attitude and state of being.
Walking with my head up high is NOT something I do. I am always looking at the ground like I don't want to make eye contact. In my defense (just a little) I have no depth perception so I think of it as guiding myself. I am practicing walking with my head held high, shoulders back, walking with purpose (even if it is just laps around the lab). My lesson: Walking with my head up I am not missing out on the beautiful scenery. I am not missing seeing people smiling and laughing. I am not missing so many things. Just remember, no laughing if I trip because I did not see the crack in the sidewalk! LOL!Well, this is all I have for now. There will be future installments of Lessons I have Learned!
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