I am engaged in a group that is a bit different in making me think outside of the box when it comes to diet and exercise and, in general, life! One of the challenges we were given was INSTEAD of making a list of new year's resolutions, why not pick a word or two that would reflect what you want to achieve in the next year. What is the difference you ask? Well when you are working towards something, you allow yourself to fail, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again. Hopefully the second time will not be doing the same thing again expecting different results!!
I have taken this to heart........resolutions have the connotation of failure. How many times have we seen the groups of people going to the gym and in 4 weeks stop going; how many people quickly join weight loss programs with the intention of being at a goal weight in 2 months? This is not my plan anymore.
The words I have chosen for the year are FEARLESS and ENOUGH.
Fearless is HUGE for me. Sometimes I listen to the voices in my head that tell me that because I have not been to the gym in a long time, people will look at me and think WHY is she coming in now and how long will she last? This same voice has told me in the past that I am not going to lose weight because I love to cook. I am going to be fat because people in my family have all been fat. Well HELGA......go soak your head! I have been fearful for so long that I am excited to break those shackles.
By no means will I be perfect; we are all made perfectly imperfect, that I am sure of! I have plans to try different things. I love my jazzercise class (which I have been absent from) but need something more gentle too. I have researched restorative yoga (I hope the yogi this time understands that I have NO experience with this an need to start small); in the same building (actually in the same studio on a different day) there are belly dancing classes. I have taken a brief session with a group of friends on a cruise......one of my friends who led the class was a prima belly dancer (does the word prima go with belly dancing or just ballerina?!)I am going to go see movies even if it means going alone. There is no sin in going alone. I always thought that going alone meant you had no friends or date. How silly is that?! I want to see every romantic comedy and fun movie that tickles my funny bone. I used to go to the movies all the time......but I guess, as I look back, was usually with a guy I was seeing. I guess that is how I have associated the two......BUT NO MORE.
I have created a vision board and wish I knew how to post it here in the blog. It reflects the things I really want to try; ballroom dancing, belly dancing, body movement in general.
This also needs to be part of my life in terms of meeting new people. I have been through the worst (I hope) of the dating websites. I am POSITIVE that I won't go down that same path again but hope by putting good energy and vibes out there my mr close enough will find me.....maybe even at one of the new things I want to try!
Enough is the other word. I AM ENOUGH. I don't need to get another degree unless it is really something I am interested in. The last 2 I got were because it was expected of me. I worked like a dog with groups that were not as invested in it as I was....or maybe it was HELGA again; I worked hard for a perfect grade/score/presentation. I made myself crazy...and a 100 and a 95 were still an A; in real life who cares if it is an A+, A or A-...did I learn something? Was I going to be able to apply it when necessary? Sheesh, the hours of stress and missed events were NOT worth it. I can say that now because I am in a different place but in the heat of the moment I was crazed. When I got my second MBA I was in a class with a girl who was MORE off the chart than I. I did not think anyone like her existed. I figured out half way through the class she was rewriting everyone's work so it sounded cohesive. I was floored and tried to tell her to stop. We all had our words and sections ...they should be presented as such. She spouted to me she needed a perfect grade or would feel like a failure...did that hit me in the face! I realized I was once that person.
I am enough when it comes to relationships. Not just the kind with a guy...with friends too. I don't have to make myself different or mold myself to what they want to see. Variety is the spice of life and if we all colored with the basic 8 crayons life would be boring. I am a pretty fun person. I am smart, funny, sensitive, talented....
I am enough for me.
So.......Happy New Year! Are you going to pick a word and try to live it to the fullest?!
